MEET THE BAND
Meet Philosophy Cheeseknife, or Philly Cheese for short. This swivel-hipped singer resides in Cheasdle, which while formerly in Cheshire (cheese), is now in Grater Mancheester. Despite fondue pressure from outside cheese sauces to leave music behind, there was no Edam whey Philly was going to give up on his cheese dream, even though he cheasily Gouda. He persevered, and cheese days Philly is a seasoned purveyor of fine dairy produce. As a result, the Philly Cheese take on a wide variety of party classics is sure to appeal to all fromages. Let’s Roque(fort) and (cheese)roll! Philly, we Port Salut you!
Formerly Doctor Vibes, an honorary PhD in vibeology from the Université de Cabaret in Paris was cruelly revoked amid (false) allegations of crimes against music. Vibes responded by rebranding himself as ‘#Vibes’, in an attempt to be ‘down with the kids’. Whether ripping it up on keys, rapattacking, or just plain clap, clap clapping, this geezer IS the vibe. Alright stop, collaborate and listen - Vibes is back with a brand new invention. He just hasn’t told us what it is yet.
When asked for a quote for this website, G-Man exclaimed, “I’m the kinda G the little homies wanna be like. On my knees in the night sayin’ prayers in the street light!” What does it all mean? Don’t ask, but do ask... Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s G-Man, a drum-hitting superhero with all the amazing powers of the letter G! G-Man is all important to Groovy Revolution, not least because without him they’d be Roovy Revolution, and that just doesn’t make any sense.
So you wanted a scoop of funk-infused bass-based virtuosity? Well you’re in luck. With this guy you get not one, but two large helpings. Don’t confuse him with history’s other famous ‘Two Scoops’, who dominated American Gladiators, jumped over a car, and then went to prison for armed robbery. Our version won’t be doing any of those things - we hope! Scoops, he did it again! Scoops upside your head! He’s the Scoop Doggy Dogg! Come and join him for a couple of scoops.
When he’s not Pumping Iron, hunky guitarist Arnie loves nothing better than to fire off quotes coined by his idol, Mr Schwarzenegger himself. “GET TO THE CHOPPER!” “COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!” “I DON’T DO REQUESTS!” (Not factually accurate, that last one.) Anyway, enough of these True Lies. (Groan.) He needs your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle, and um... leave enough room for his fist because he’s going to ram it into your stomach and break your goddamn spine.
Born and raised in “God’s own county”, Yorkie ‘ad it tough. ‘E used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. ‘E ‘ad two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when ‘e got ‘ome ‘is Dad would slice ‘im in two wit' bread knife. These days Yorkie is equally at ‘ome on t’guitar or on t’bass, but still finds time for whippet worrying and ferret legging on Ilkley Moor. (Baht ‘at, obviously.)
Things you probably didn’t know about the drummer known only as Huge: 1) The Bristolian trip-hop duo Massive Attack named themselves after this one time Huge got angry; 2) When standing next to Huge, Big Bird from Sesame Street has to call himself Small Bird; 3) When John Lennon said that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, Huge just smiled a knowing smile, realising that he was bigger than Jesus AND The Beatles, even if they all stood on top of one another.
(To the tune of The Flintstones theme.)
Bambam. Meet our Bambam. He’s the modern stone-age keyboard guy. From the town of Hard Rock, he’s a page right out of days gone by. Just look at his twinkling fingers go, as he sparkles on the piano. When you hear our Bambam, you'll have a yabba-dabba-doo time, a dabba-doo time, you'll have a gay old time.
Boom boom boom, let me hear you say Wayo! Peerless lyricists The Outhere Brothers aren’t the only ones talking about our bassist. His name is on the lips of people the world over. Foreign types with the hookah pipes say Wayo, Wayo, Waayy-oh. All the kids in the marketplace say Wayo, Wayo, Waayy-oh. All the cops in the donut shop say Wayo, Wayo, Waayy-oh. To say Wayo “walks like an Egyptian” would be inaccurate. “Struts like a chicken” is much closer to the mark.
Don’t be confused – you won’t find this House on Right Move or Zoopla, he’s not a TV series about a grumpy doctor, and you’ll definitely get the wrong end of the stick if you type ‘house’ and ‘music’ into Google. That’s not to say House isn’t versatile. He’s a master of multiple genres from Lounge to Garage, and boasts a repertoire which includes pretty much everything but the kitchen sink! (See what I did there?) Our House is a very very very fine House!